Tuesday 31 May 2011

Bourbon

Not the funny brown biscuits that don't taste anything like chocolate but seem like they should, I'm talking about something far sweeter with delightful hints of caramel, although they're both named after some French royal family, yawn... 

I'll try again, Bourbon is a type of whisky, but I like to say it's not a 'real whisky'. It's made from corn rather that malts or grain, like the real whiskies we know and love, yawny cocking yawn...

I'm really boring myself into alcoholism here, so I'm off to the kitchen to grab a glass and taste the shit. This is the particular Bourbon I bought - Elijah Craig.



I picked this up from Piers in his wine shop and trusted his recommendation. Piers is a good man and really knows his wines, especially oldie world ones, so the anticipation was high with this caramel coloured beauty. The first thing I noticed was the colour of the liquid, a lot darker than Scotch. Also the viscosity of the liquid, as I tilted the glass an indication of old age and high alcohol content was apparent as the tears or legs were large, wide apart and trickled down slowly. Thirdly the smell or nose was not too good, it just really burnt my nasal cavities. Next came the taste, fiery for a 12 year old whisky, although this is a Bourbon, but the finish was surprisingly good and complex. Again I'm comparing Kentucky Bourbon to Scottish Whisky, It's hard not too, but there are definitely hints of vanilla, lots of spice, orange zest and obviously the trademark Bourbon caramel. Pretty good, but not a 'real whiskey'.

The true test will come when I'm knocking back shots of the stuff or drinking it with Coke and getting fucked up with the lads. I'm just kidding, the true test is whether it mixes with Red Bull, bring on the Bourbon-Bombs (Possibly a new type of Jägerbomb first coined here on Scoffy Egg).

Thursday 26 May 2011

Pork

Some friends gave me a joint of free-range pork, the pig was fed on apples, lovely idea. Maybe lambs could be fed on a diet of mint leaves, bulls on horseradish or chickens on bread sauce.

It was already cooked, so I shoved it in a pan on the hob with some rosemary, a few slices of apples and a splash of wine (hear the tasty sizzle in the video below, what an appetising noise). I got it properly hot in the oven and finished off the crackling with some grill action, amazing. Always the best bit the crackling, that's if you get it right.





I served it with some roasted veg (Cherry vine toms, courgette, mushrooms and green pepper) and a bit of cous cous to soak up the juices. When I tried to carve the pork I couldn't, it simlply fell apart on the chopping board. So tender, so juicy and so so good. Oh, and a big squeeze of lemon juice helped cut through the fat, a glass of white wine from Whistle Wines also helped with an appley lemony fruit acidity.

I'm still full and lounging on the sofa, watching Two Greedy Itailians. The washing up can fuck off.

Monday 23 May 2011

A fresh of breath air

As we drove to a wedding party on Saturday afternoon there was a smell in the car which was indescribable, it wasn't flatulence, it wasn't body odour, but it was in fact a strange form of halitosis. The smell lingered all day it could be smelt by people outdoors despite the strong gusts of fresh Devonian air. My girlfriend's dad could smell it outside the bedroom door the following morning and it followed me on the train all the way home on Sunday afternoon. As sulphouros vapour travelled up my gullet tainting the air, I had time to gather my thoughts. A pack of chewing gum and four rigorous tooth brushings later, I reflected on whether it was worth it and if I could do the dirty deed again. You may be thinking what could summon such a foul beast, well here is the recipe.


Try it if you dare!



I've been hankering to make this bread for a while after spotting it in the Baker & Spice book Baking with Passion. The author, Dan Lepard, really knows his stuff when it comes to bread. His version may seem a little labour intensive and it probably is. I made a slight adaptation, cutting a few corners, and speeding up the process. Garlic can be difficult to digest and it can recur on you, as it did in my case (for rather a prolonged period of time). But even if you can't handle that much garlic, tone it down a little, cos the results are worth it. I'd rather smell someone's garlicy breath than someone's dehydrated stench of a cake hole, even cigarette breath is more pleasant than bacteria ridden morning breath.

To go with the bread, I knocked up a salad with courgette shavings, black kalamata olives, vine tomatoes, parma ham, with a drizzle of olive oil and lemon juice. My friend Nick and I sat at the table and scoffed away not knowing the consequences. Oh how the ignorance was bliss.

Thursday 19 May 2011

Shit Pie, Good Shopping

I recently discovered we can get a Waitrose home delivery for our weekly shop. I won't bullshit, it was about 20% more expensive than Sainsburys, but probably worth it with the little perks, for example; free delivery and they didn't charge for the asparagus because it had a short use by date, oh and a middle-class delivery driver who actually gave a shit about his job because he works for a good company (the whole John Lewis partnership thing is genius).


With the asparagus I made some creamy, garlicy, buttery mash and red onion gravy using Marco's Knorr beef stock pot and it was actually pretty good. On the side was a Linda McCartney Country Pie, which really strives towards tasting like a meat pie, but falls at every taste-bud hurdle. My girlfriend described it as "a shit meat pie, but without the meat. Shame, as good vegetarian pies do exist, the other day I had one of Tom's Butternut Squash Pies and it was so good. I'm sure The Pie Minister do a good veggie option as well.

I will certainly use Waitrose home delivery again, as all there own brand products are great, even the crisps taste better, it's not M&S quality, but still good. Home delivery saves me about two hours a week and because I don't own a car, it really is a winner. Definitely the way forward and gives me the pleasure of quality food shopping at independent retailers at the weekend for those special treats.

Tuesday 17 May 2011

Bakery Cakery

I've been baking cakes for over a year now, that's on a professional level so I know a little bit about the subject, and it's unbelievable how many bad cakes are out there. 

It's jolly hard to find cakes which are made from traditional ingredients such as butter, but instead everything appears to have palm oil, margarine or some other disgusting hydrogenated fat. Many cakes are also made using eggs from battery farms, chocolate flavours and vanilla essence, all of which are contributing factors for producing a bad cake.





The best solution for bad cake is to make it yourself, but if you're like me and hate the idea of weighing out 234g of plain flour with 34g of self raising flour, 1 1/2 tea spoons of baking powder .......

Try cooking a brownie, so much better than any cake you can buy from the supermarket and probably the easiest thing to bake as it's not really a cake, more of a dense chocolate truffle slice.

I can't give out the recipe from work, because I would have my throat slit, so check out an adaptation of Mr Oliver's.

2 x 100g of dark chocolate (70% coco solids if you can)
250g  (1 packet) butter (at room temperature)
200g golden caster sugar (you can probably measure this by eye, if it's 500g bag of sugar then use a bit less than half)
6 level tablespoons of coco powder (you don't need this if you have good bitter chocolate)
4 heaped table spoons of flour (plain or self raising or ground almonds)
4 eggs
1 teaspoon salt


(optional ingredients or add nutty, fruity stuff you like or what you have in your cupboards, just play some jazz)


a handful of crystalised or stem ginger
a handful of pecans
a handful of dried sour cherries
1 clementine
crème fraîche, to serve


Smash the chocolate and chop the butter into small chunks, then put both into the food processor (if you don't have one then nuke together in the microwave, if you don't have a microwave then melt in a bowl over simmering water), mix in the sugar, coco (if you cheaped out on the good chocolate), the flour (sift if your not using the food processor), salt. Wizz together. While the food processor is still running, crack in the eggs (just beat them in if your not using the food processor).
Scrunch up a piece of grease proof paper under a tap. Flatten it, lay it in a baking tray (approx 32 x 26 cm) and drizzle it with cooking oil, then rub in. Spoon your mixture out evenly into the tray, about 2.5 cm thick. Sprinkle over the pecans and sour cherries (or whatever jazz your playing)and press them down a bit, finely grate over the zest of the clementine. Put the tray in the oven on the top shelf at 170 -180°C and cook for 12 to 14 minutes.


As Ottolenghi says "Be brave with your brownie", meaning take it out of the oven before it's done, it should have a little wobble as its coming out.


Brownie is good for breakfast, with afternoon tea or as a desert. You can eat it warm with ice cream or straight from the fridge. It will keep in an air-tight container for weeks and for years in a the freezer, I've eaten brownie which was in the fridge for over a year and it tasted great. Brownies rule, unless they are over-cooked cakey rubbish from the supermarket.




Here is the amazingly intricate website for where I work - The Exploding Bakery or find us on Facebook or Twitter.

Monday 9 May 2011

Tesco

I know it's fashionable to dislike large food corporations such as McDonald's, Nestle & Tesco, but Tesco are just a disgusting virus.










Here is a completely unbiased article on their profits, after reading it I had a very bitter taste in my mouth.


It's been 3 weeks since I've spent any money in that greed grocers and I'm feeling pretty good about it.


Remember the huge amounts of money Sainsbury's gives to charity or the ethics behind Waitrose or how delicious all the M&S food is.


Every Little Helps.




I fucking hate any form of preaching so I'm not going to do any, this film will do the job for me - Tesco - The Supermarket that's eating Britain - Dispatches Channel 4